The Stuff of Nightmares

On occasion, I have trouble sleeping. The bouts of restlessness are infrequent, but sometime after the sleep returns, I have 1 of 2 recurring nightmares.

The first one that I will mention is basically me versus the Devil. I have never been a religious person, so the notion of God and the Devil was not something I have ever really concerned myself with. Satan was just another monster, or an excuse people used to blame the evil deeds of people on something supernatural.

In my dream, I am sometimes able to escape Old Scratch, but most of the time I am caught. I can sometimes force myself awake after looking into his face (which doesn't look like your typical Satan from the movies but is always different and monstrous) or hearing his voice (a high pitched "soul shattering" almost mechanical whine). In these dreams I am always abandoned by family and friends. There is no help for me, I have no one to turn to. I am left to face whatever it is that happens to me, alone. When I do wake up my body aches, as if I was in a physical fight and I have a headache for the remainder of that day.

In the other dream, I am in love with a woman whose face I am never able to see. She has fair skin, and dark hair (usually short). When I am with her I am blissfully happy, happier than I have ever been. I know that this woman accepts me, flaws and all; she loves me unconditionally. She would do anything for me, and I would do anything for her. We argue, but there is never any malice or vindictiveness. We just want the best for one another and won't allow the other to settle for less. As that feeling of love really washes over me, it is at that point I wake up.

The details of the dream fades, and as the full weight of that realization that "it was all a dream" hits me; I am alone, there is no special woman in my life. The dream was a tease, a lie. There was no happiness, it never existed. And as that truth settles in, it crushes me.

Each and every time.

Earlier this week, I had another issue sleeping, being awake for about 2 days. Sleep finally came (in the form of a few hrs) which is about normal for me. So I know that one of the dreams is coming, if history is any indication.

The question is, which one?

A Disturbance In The Force...

This week a new teaser was released for the seventh movie in the Star Wars trilogy, Episode VII: The Force Awakens. It was a good teaser, doing what teasers are supposed to do, which is elicit excitement for the films release later this year. And pretty much everyone who watched it (if you can believe what you read on the internet and Twitter) was excited. 

My sister had a different perspective on the teaser.

Now, my sister is in her 30's and saw all of the movies in the original trilogy. She did like them, as far as I can remember. My sister also is a film fan, calling Goodfellas, Ghostbusters, Old School and the Christopher Nolan Batman Trilogy among some of her favorites. What follows is our conversation about the new trailer.

Sis: Did you see that they released the new Star Wars trailer?
Me: Yeah, I watched it a few times. I want to see more of the story, but it looks really good!
Sis: Yeah I guess... Did you see Harrison Ford?
Me: Yup. It was cool to see him as Han again.
Sis: He looks old as shit...
Me: (laughing a bit) What?
Sis: They should of put a beard on him or something... cause that muthafuka is old. And there's Chewie, standing next to him lookin' all regular...
Me: Well, are you gonna go see it when it comes out?
Sis: ffffuuuuuuck no. Taj (her son, my nephew) will want to see it and I might just drop him off and go see something else. 
Me: But you saw the other ones...
Sis: I didn't see the last 3 movies.
Me: No, the original 3 were episodes 4, 5 and 6... this is episode 7 so it happens right after Return of the Jedi.
Sis: Junal, I don't care about their lives... Luke all talking about the Force being strong in his family... SHUUUUT UUUUP. Maybe that's why his family dynamic is so jacked up. 

So if you were someone that was searching for a different perspective on the Star Wars hoopla, hopefully that helped.