I could make out voices not too far away, but could not clearly hear what they are saying. They were speaking in hushed tones, so they had to be in uncharted territory. Hell, so was I. I died trying to fight a guy that shouldn’t exist. And ya know what? I was pretty cool with dying back there. I tried to do the right thing, and that was enough for me. I went out on a high note. Now I’m back here? For what, to die again?
A jerk in a white lab coat came over and began talking to me, telling me that while it was miraculous that I was alive, I may not survive another injury like that, etcetera and etcetera. All I could think was “may not”? I shouldn’t have survived this one! But I remembered that when I was a kid my uncle pulled me aside and told me “When you die, your life will begin”. I may have been only eight, but I knew crazy talk when I heard it. But then again, apparently not. I remember nodding my head and then breaking my ass to stay far away from good old Uncle James. I wish now that I asked him what the hell he was talking about, told him how being cryptic was not cool. But there is nothing like first hand experience, I suppose.
I tried to sit up, but found that I was strapped to the gurney like some type of mental patient. The guards who had their backs to me were now facing me, guns trained on my head. The doctor or whoever he was went on to talk about how I could be the secret weapon that could stop the destroyer, blah, blah, blah. I couldn’t believe that he was still talking. I just laid back (what else could I do strapped to that table?) and let the guy ramble on.
When he finally finished trying to explain what he knew nothing about, he unhooked my straps and I sat up slowly, as I was advised to do by the guy in charge of the gun wielding soldiers. He said that he was General so and so, and that he was in charge of the operation going forward. So there was a scientist and now the military. If movies taught me anything, it was that the combination of these two elements did not bode well for anybody.
As the General continued to talk, I spent the time wondering if I could get a drink anywhere nearby. I’m sure that my distraction was not in any way a good thing, as he could be telling me something important, but I just didn’t care. I was given a uniform, with my very own camo pants and jacket, and a black t-shirt. The boots that they gave looked terrible as well as too small, so I asked them to get me some sneaks instead. While I waited for my footwear, I changed into the new gear as the general kept talking about a plan to head the destroyer off before he was able to leave the area. He also stated that the military was barely slowing him down and that I was the last, desperate hope. I guess that they had to be desperate considering I was killed the first time. But I decided that worst case, I’d be killed again, and it would stick this time. Or I would save the world and then everyone back home would see that I did something great, and would feel proud or jealous or something. Huh. I can’t believe I called that place “home.”
The general wrapped up his dialogue and handed me a gun. I laughed at him like he had to be kidding just as the soldier returned with my sneaks. I took them from him, but hated the fact that they were Jordans. I didn’t want to go up against that thing in my socks, so I put them on and left the tent or “command center bravo” as it was being referred to, heading in the direction of all the gun shots and screaming. I looked back to see the general and the gun carrying guards now saluting me. The scientist was there too, only he looked worried. Whether it was because he wanted to tag along to see the action or some other reason, I don’t know. But an unhappy scientist was also not a good thing.
The chaos of the destroyer’s attack was getting quieter as I got closer. That had to mean that he had pretty much killed everyone that was attacking him, trying to run away or just happened to be watching his rampage. As I got closer to a cross street, a tank flew by. As I knew that tanks did not yet have any type of airplane caliber propulsion system (and even if they did they would not be upside down) I guessed that the jerk causing all of these problems was still up and about. I turned the corner, and there he was. He was at least seven feet tall, had to be. And he was looking at me, smiling. Like he had just won the lottery or got a free meal at Denny’s. While still wearing that smile he started walking towards me, his fists clenched.
Ugh. My day was about to get longer….
End part two
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Steve
The steel rod was rammed into my stomach, and exited through my back. I could feel my blood draining away, and the flow of it intensified when I moved, so I stopped moving. I just dropped to my knees and waited. My breathing became a little more labored, and my hearing started to go. The screams and the all of the gunfire started to sound more and more distant. I looked around and all of the chaos, people running this way and that, other screaming for help that wasn’t coming, looked like it was happening not in front of me, but someplace else. I turned my head again, and the man that impaled me with the rod was talking about something, but I couldn’t really hear him anymore. I didn’t really care what he was saying through that smile of his. I just thought that his beard was stupid and I wanted to tell him that but my voice wouldn’t come. I don’t even think he noticed I was trying to say anything to him. He was just too thrilled with the sound of his own voice, I suppose. I looked away from him to see a little boy crying, probably looking for a pet, toy or family member. I tried to get up to help him, willed my body to move, but it didn’t listen to me. I just stayed on my knees, feeling more and more rested. I looked down to see the pool of blood was larger now. My jeans were now a dark maroon instead of blue, and the light was getting dimmer. I figured that the sun was going down, but how could that be when it was just ten in the morning? My breathing was almost non-existent now. I didn’t care. I was finally getting to rest once and for all. I was finished, it was done. Let someone else…
I'm annoyed.
I know that I was dead, and have no idea why I am now staring at a ceiling. I turned my head to see that I was surrounded by military personnel. Their backs were to me, so I figured that I was being guarded. So not only am I alive, I am also being held prisoner.
I am really annoyed right now.
*End Part One*
I'm annoyed.
I know that I was dead, and have no idea why I am now staring at a ceiling. I turned my head to see that I was surrounded by military personnel. Their backs were to me, so I figured that I was being guarded. So not only am I alive, I am also being held prisoner.
I am really annoyed right now.
*End Part One*
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Politics
I begin this by saying that I feel all politicians, no matter what they say, have their own agenda. Be it a ridiculous financial windfall when they get out of the office that they hold, or are using the topic of the moment to fuel some type of agenda. But I do believe that they should at least have a chance to prove that their campaign platform was not full of lies on top of falsehoods.
Since the President has been in office, there have been all kinds of representatives from the Republican Party and other conservative venues (FOX) that have jumped out of the woodwork to criticize him at every turn. I understand that this is the nature of politics in any arena, but seriously? The country is in the shape that it is in due to 8 YEARS OF REPUBLICAN LEADERSHIP!!! Republicans were voted out of office because of the mess that was created by them, for reasons truly only known to them. Now a Democrat is in office trying to make changes to something that can not be fixed overnight (the economy) and every move he makes is touted as ‘wrong’ or ‘damaging to the country’.
Maybe the President doesn’t have the answers. Maybe his ideas are incorrect and won’t pan out. But he and his officers deserve the chance to try and repair the mess made by those in office before them that were too greedy to care what was going on or to stupid to realize what was happening.
Since the President has been in office, there have been all kinds of representatives from the Republican Party and other conservative venues (FOX) that have jumped out of the woodwork to criticize him at every turn. I understand that this is the nature of politics in any arena, but seriously? The country is in the shape that it is in due to 8 YEARS OF REPUBLICAN LEADERSHIP!!! Republicans were voted out of office because of the mess that was created by them, for reasons truly only known to them. Now a Democrat is in office trying to make changes to something that can not be fixed overnight (the economy) and every move he makes is touted as ‘wrong’ or ‘damaging to the country’.
Maybe the President doesn’t have the answers. Maybe his ideas are incorrect and won’t pan out. But he and his officers deserve the chance to try and repair the mess made by those in office before them that were too greedy to care what was going on or to stupid to realize what was happening.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Prejudice, Animation Style
I will never understand the adult aversion to animated content, otherwise known as “cartoons”. The pre-conceived notion that an animated show is “low-brow” never really made too much sense to. Where The Simpsons are widely accepted by the public and critics alike, if you have no children, are above the age of 10 and still watch Spongebob Squarepants, you are looked at like a freak. I suppose that cartoons have the stigma that they do simply because the majority of them are dumbed down ridiculously. Simply because many of the shows are aimed at children, they are either constructed as either a half hour commercial or written as if the intended audience has the IQ of 4.
I grew up with G.I. Joe, Transformers, He-Man, The Smurfs and zillions of other poorly written animated tripe. But I did enjoy some of that tripe, and realize now that they were just commercials. G.I. Joe was the most effective commercial for me; I could watch the cartoon, and then I could get the toys and reenact what I had just seen? Get me my dad’s wallet and let’s go shopping. Transformers and He-Man had toys too, but they didn’t really do that much for me. And I remember The Smurfs had a cereal, but I was more of a pancakes kid so they could keep their blue cereal and go someplace. This marriage of show and toy is still true today, with shows like Dora the Explorer, Thomas the Tank Engine or Ben 10 that have extensive product lines so that fun never has to stop. And it is this unholy union that I believe causes many adults to feel that cartoons are a kids’ business, and the only way you should be watching a cartoon is if you have kids.
That’s crap.
I think that a big issue is that most simply have not seen a cartoon since either they grew up or since their kids grew up. So while that they may know of The Simpsons and South park, which may mainly be due to the fact that they are broadcast in prime time, they know nothing of The Venture Brothers, which is possibly the one of the best half hours on television. There are even many animated shows that are aimed at children by the networks, but are written for an older audience or at the very least, are not written in an insulting fashion. Say what you want, but the version of DC Comic’s character Batman as represented in the cleverly titled Batman: The Animated Series (and all of the shows spawned from it*), Gargoyles (from Disney!**) and the old Warner Bros cartoons dealt with some pretty adult material. The shows based on the DC Comics dealt with everything from brutal revenge for the loss of a loved one to a hero contemplating the upside of genocide. Gargoyles dealt with themes of betrayal, loss and success through manipulation, which was new ground for an animated show put on television from Disney. And as for the Warner Bros cartoons, I remember seeing an interview with the Warner Bros animators and they simply acknowledged that they drew what they wanted to see on screen. This meant shotguns to the face, cross-dressing rabbits, smoking, drinking and a host of other no-no’s in kids programming today. The Warner cartoons were not even edited for content until recently.
The sad thing is that this affliction seems more prevalent to American adults than the adults of other countries. Those of foreign nations seem readily able to embrace animation as simply an entertainment medium instead of child’s play. I could go on about the different types of shows represented by Japanese animation alone, but that is a rant for another time. Americans are cool with the latest release from Pixar for the most part, but an all new animated version of Wonder Woman coming out on DVD simply gets placed next to the Barbie DVD’s and is summarily ignored.***
Will people ever change their opinions in this matter? I don’t know. My mom used to hate the mere idea of Batman and Superman, and looked to have no use for cartoons in general after my brother, sister and I grew up. She now watches The Venture Brothers regularly, and has watched multiple episodes of Batman: TAS, Justice League Unlimited and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. For a long time, she was the most hoity-toity person that I knew. But if she changed, maybe other people can too.
*from the success of Batman: The Animated Series came Batman Beyond, Superman: The Animated Series, The Zeta Project, Justice League and Justice League Unlimited.
**the first 2 seasons of the show were great, then the stories took a turn for the worst, introducing a time travel element, the main characters long lost daughter and other ridiculousness
I grew up with G.I. Joe, Transformers, He-Man, The Smurfs and zillions of other poorly written animated tripe. But I did enjoy some of that tripe, and realize now that they were just commercials. G.I. Joe was the most effective commercial for me; I could watch the cartoon, and then I could get the toys and reenact what I had just seen? Get me my dad’s wallet and let’s go shopping. Transformers and He-Man had toys too, but they didn’t really do that much for me. And I remember The Smurfs had a cereal, but I was more of a pancakes kid so they could keep their blue cereal and go someplace. This marriage of show and toy is still true today, with shows like Dora the Explorer, Thomas the Tank Engine or Ben 10 that have extensive product lines so that fun never has to stop. And it is this unholy union that I believe causes many adults to feel that cartoons are a kids’ business, and the only way you should be watching a cartoon is if you have kids.
That’s crap.
I think that a big issue is that most simply have not seen a cartoon since either they grew up or since their kids grew up. So while that they may know of The Simpsons and South park, which may mainly be due to the fact that they are broadcast in prime time, they know nothing of The Venture Brothers, which is possibly the one of the best half hours on television. There are even many animated shows that are aimed at children by the networks, but are written for an older audience or at the very least, are not written in an insulting fashion. Say what you want, but the version of DC Comic’s character Batman as represented in the cleverly titled Batman: The Animated Series (and all of the shows spawned from it*), Gargoyles (from Disney!**) and the old Warner Bros cartoons dealt with some pretty adult material. The shows based on the DC Comics dealt with everything from brutal revenge for the loss of a loved one to a hero contemplating the upside of genocide. Gargoyles dealt with themes of betrayal, loss and success through manipulation, which was new ground for an animated show put on television from Disney. And as for the Warner Bros cartoons, I remember seeing an interview with the Warner Bros animators and they simply acknowledged that they drew what they wanted to see on screen. This meant shotguns to the face, cross-dressing rabbits, smoking, drinking and a host of other no-no’s in kids programming today. The Warner cartoons were not even edited for content until recently.
The sad thing is that this affliction seems more prevalent to American adults than the adults of other countries. Those of foreign nations seem readily able to embrace animation as simply an entertainment medium instead of child’s play. I could go on about the different types of shows represented by Japanese animation alone, but that is a rant for another time. Americans are cool with the latest release from Pixar for the most part, but an all new animated version of Wonder Woman coming out on DVD simply gets placed next to the Barbie DVD’s and is summarily ignored.***
Will people ever change their opinions in this matter? I don’t know. My mom used to hate the mere idea of Batman and Superman, and looked to have no use for cartoons in general after my brother, sister and I grew up. She now watches The Venture Brothers regularly, and has watched multiple episodes of Batman: TAS, Justice League Unlimited and Aqua Teen Hunger Force. For a long time, she was the most hoity-toity person that I knew. But if she changed, maybe other people can too.
*from the success of Batman: The Animated Series came Batman Beyond, Superman: The Animated Series, The Zeta Project, Justice League and Justice League Unlimited.
**the first 2 seasons of the show were great, then the stories took a turn for the worst, introducing a time travel element, the main characters long lost daughter and other ridiculousness
***I actually saw the Wonder Woman DVD in a display next to a Barbie dressed as Wonder Woman in a toy section, and cautioned a mother that thought of getting the disc to rent it first. She didn’t think that there could be anything there that was damaging or inappropriate. Wonder if she still felt that way after the first beheading…
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
It's a Collectible, dammit...
The term “collectible” figures had to come from a guy that was embarrassed that he was still buying toys. Seriously, when did it go from the act of collecting to being a collectible? Was it when someone was offered $2,000 for a toy that they bought for only $5? Or was it when their wife threatened to leave them if they could not explain the landfill of Star Wars toys in the basement? Whenever it came to be, it was probably more of a boon for the manufacturers than anything else.
But somehow when calling a toy a collectible, it is easier to justify having it in your home. Most people when they see the toy in your home and when they question you about it the proud response is “Toy? Oh, no. That is my Collectible Superman with the Lois Lane corpse. Fully poseable and only 1,115,000 were produced.” The response to that answer is one that you give as if humoring a proud child that just showed you his drawing. The kid tells you it is a scene from The Wizard of Oz, and all you see is a couple of lines and random circles arranged chaotically: “Ooooohh. Very… nice”. But to the collector, this figure is a trophy. Maybe it was bought for the art of the figure, or the rarity (not at 1,115,000 but you get my meaning). Perhaps he is just a Superman fan and needed to have it to complete their collection of other Man of Steel related items. But there it sits, in a space of honor, surrounded by it’s own lights and mini velvet ropes, proudly displayed in the packaging.
Ah, yes, the packaging.
As many companies realize that the true collector will not ever remove the item from the original packaging, these are now made like some type of diorama, where the item in question is posed in such a way that removing it will destroy the little illusion that has been created. As this will also decrease the resale value of the figure, to even suggest that the item be removed from the packaging is sheer blasphemy! These are the collectors that need to get over themselves. The item in question is only as valuable as the next person is willing to spend on it, package or not. If you only buy something with the overall goal of selling it later, that makes you kind of a jerk. Espescially if you paid only $19.95 and are expecting to sell it for thousands one day.
I started off as a jerk, with the comic books, and then the figures. But my jerk-dom didn’t last long. I decided with both things that I was just going to buy what I liked, and that was that. It has worked out well. I am not spending millions that I don’t have on comics* and I only buy the figures that I like the look of. And I remove them from the package.
*I have been told that you can read comic books online now. Ah, progress…
But somehow when calling a toy a collectible, it is easier to justify having it in your home. Most people when they see the toy in your home and when they question you about it the proud response is “Toy? Oh, no. That is my Collectible Superman with the Lois Lane corpse. Fully poseable and only 1,115,000 were produced.” The response to that answer is one that you give as if humoring a proud child that just showed you his drawing. The kid tells you it is a scene from The Wizard of Oz, and all you see is a couple of lines and random circles arranged chaotically: “Ooooohh. Very… nice”. But to the collector, this figure is a trophy. Maybe it was bought for the art of the figure, or the rarity (not at 1,115,000 but you get my meaning). Perhaps he is just a Superman fan and needed to have it to complete their collection of other Man of Steel related items. But there it sits, in a space of honor, surrounded by it’s own lights and mini velvet ropes, proudly displayed in the packaging.
Ah, yes, the packaging.
As many companies realize that the true collector will not ever remove the item from the original packaging, these are now made like some type of diorama, where the item in question is posed in such a way that removing it will destroy the little illusion that has been created. As this will also decrease the resale value of the figure, to even suggest that the item be removed from the packaging is sheer blasphemy! These are the collectors that need to get over themselves. The item in question is only as valuable as the next person is willing to spend on it, package or not. If you only buy something with the overall goal of selling it later, that makes you kind of a jerk. Espescially if you paid only $19.95 and are expecting to sell it for thousands one day.
I started off as a jerk, with the comic books, and then the figures. But my jerk-dom didn’t last long. I decided with both things that I was just going to buy what I liked, and that was that. It has worked out well. I am not spending millions that I don’t have on comics* and I only buy the figures that I like the look of. And I remove them from the package.
*I have been told that you can read comic books online now. Ah, progress…
Thursday, March 19, 2009
I'm back, to rant yet again...
I know that it has been a while since my last post, but what can i say? Things have been hectic. But I have returned and maybe this time I can keep things on track.
I was in a Toys R Us recently, looking to use a gift card that I got around the holidays, and decided to take a stroll around the store, to see what it was the kids had to play with these days. The bikes were all right, and there were of course the video and board games. But I was more interested in the action figures. When I was a kid, all those years ago, we had Star Wars, Transformers, the random superhero figures and G.I Joe to sustain our imaginations (and to tie in to our beloved shows or what have you). I was surprised to see that those toys not only still existed, but they really suck now. Especially the super hero toys.
Someone explain to me why in the world you would put Batman in a day glow outfit? There is no reason for this at all, unless Joel Schumacher had a hand in that figure’s design. He is called “The dark Knight” for God’s sake. He goes out to fight crime at night, not high noon. He should be dressed, worst case, in the colors of the movie suits: BLACK. Best case, you dress him in the colors of the comics; grey suit/blue cape, grey suit/black cape and the cowl with varying ear lengths, cape at various volumes of flow-ness. As he is a gadget guy, you can milk him for play sets (Gotham, the Bat cave) and all kinds of vehicles (boats, planes cars) and even give him the glider, but just make it black. On the off chance that Batman went to the Arctic, do you know what he did? He put on a damn coat, and took it off when he got inside. Other accessories could be HIS SUPPORTING CAST. Robin, Commissioner Gordon, Batgirl (old and new) not to mention a rouges gallery and some random thugs and citizens thrown in, then that would be a franchise done right.
Superman has the same problem. Tell me, why would you give a guy that could fly in outer space a car, with a big “S” on it? Why would he need to drive? EVER? Superman has been given guns, underwater suits, some submarine thing with hands on it… all they needed to do was make various versions of him with a torn up suit. You have “Clean Superman”, no damage, suit in one piece, ready for action. Then you could have “Ass-Whupped Superman” where the suit was torn, cape ripped up, the guy looking like he had his ass handed to him. “Lava Burned” Superman for those days he had to fly through a volcano (volcano play set included). Finally “Kryptonite Poisoned Superman” where he was all green form the Kryptonite exposure. Again, a Metropolis and Fortress of Solitude play set, some supporting cast members and villains, and there is no need for the stupidity of Coffee Shop Superman which includes latte grip.
The Transformers line was hit or miss for me. While it was great to have something that transformed into a gun, tank, plane, etc if you couldn’t change it as fast as they did in the cartoon, a little of the suspension of disbelief was lost. And when the joints got loose from actually playing with the toy, the transformations didn’t hold, and that got to be annoying. Plus the toys were mostly too small to do a G.I. Joe/Transformers cross-over, so they never got too much love from me. While I admired their design, I only had a couple of them (Shockwave and Starscream) and that was enough.
The Star Wars figures were ok, but after getting my hands on the G.I. Joe toys, the fell way down on the coolness meter. Darth Vader was great, but he couldn’t move; his arms and legs just moved up or down, that was it. Snake Eyes could bend his knees and elbows, so Darth and the rest of the Start Wars gang went into the toy box. Everything except for the Millennium Falcon and the lightsabers. The Joes could use those in their struggles.
The G.I. Joe toys (from the 80’s thru early 90’s at least) were the only line that got it right. You had various action figures for the good guys and bad guys. The bad guys even had a line of the toys that were basically the ‘red shirts’ (the Cobra or Cobra Officer soldiers) so you could, provided you got more than one of every vehicle, stage epic battles with the right number of toys. I remember it was in the mid or late 90’s when Hasbro lost their mind and started producing ecco-friendly Joes, to coincide with that tree hugger version of a cartoon that they tried to shove down the kid’s throats. They totally messed up a good thing, and it was at that time that I realized I was a little happy that my toy days were over.
Or so I thought…
Next: “It’s a collectible, dammit!!”
I was in a Toys R Us recently, looking to use a gift card that I got around the holidays, and decided to take a stroll around the store, to see what it was the kids had to play with these days. The bikes were all right, and there were of course the video and board games. But I was more interested in the action figures. When I was a kid, all those years ago, we had Star Wars, Transformers, the random superhero figures and G.I Joe to sustain our imaginations (and to tie in to our beloved shows or what have you). I was surprised to see that those toys not only still existed, but they really suck now. Especially the super hero toys.
Someone explain to me why in the world you would put Batman in a day glow outfit? There is no reason for this at all, unless Joel Schumacher had a hand in that figure’s design. He is called “The dark Knight” for God’s sake. He goes out to fight crime at night, not high noon. He should be dressed, worst case, in the colors of the movie suits: BLACK. Best case, you dress him in the colors of the comics; grey suit/blue cape, grey suit/black cape and the cowl with varying ear lengths, cape at various volumes of flow-ness. As he is a gadget guy, you can milk him for play sets (Gotham, the Bat cave) and all kinds of vehicles (boats, planes cars) and even give him the glider, but just make it black. On the off chance that Batman went to the Arctic, do you know what he did? He put on a damn coat, and took it off when he got inside. Other accessories could be HIS SUPPORTING CAST. Robin, Commissioner Gordon, Batgirl (old and new) not to mention a rouges gallery and some random thugs and citizens thrown in, then that would be a franchise done right.
Superman has the same problem. Tell me, why would you give a guy that could fly in outer space a car, with a big “S” on it? Why would he need to drive? EVER? Superman has been given guns, underwater suits, some submarine thing with hands on it… all they needed to do was make various versions of him with a torn up suit. You have “Clean Superman”, no damage, suit in one piece, ready for action. Then you could have “Ass-Whupped Superman” where the suit was torn, cape ripped up, the guy looking like he had his ass handed to him. “Lava Burned” Superman for those days he had to fly through a volcano (volcano play set included). Finally “Kryptonite Poisoned Superman” where he was all green form the Kryptonite exposure. Again, a Metropolis and Fortress of Solitude play set, some supporting cast members and villains, and there is no need for the stupidity of Coffee Shop Superman which includes latte grip.
The Transformers line was hit or miss for me. While it was great to have something that transformed into a gun, tank, plane, etc if you couldn’t change it as fast as they did in the cartoon, a little of the suspension of disbelief was lost. And when the joints got loose from actually playing with the toy, the transformations didn’t hold, and that got to be annoying. Plus the toys were mostly too small to do a G.I. Joe/Transformers cross-over, so they never got too much love from me. While I admired their design, I only had a couple of them (Shockwave and Starscream) and that was enough.
The Star Wars figures were ok, but after getting my hands on the G.I. Joe toys, the fell way down on the coolness meter. Darth Vader was great, but he couldn’t move; his arms and legs just moved up or down, that was it. Snake Eyes could bend his knees and elbows, so Darth and the rest of the Start Wars gang went into the toy box. Everything except for the Millennium Falcon and the lightsabers. The Joes could use those in their struggles.
The G.I. Joe toys (from the 80’s thru early 90’s at least) were the only line that got it right. You had various action figures for the good guys and bad guys. The bad guys even had a line of the toys that were basically the ‘red shirts’ (the Cobra or Cobra Officer soldiers) so you could, provided you got more than one of every vehicle, stage epic battles with the right number of toys. I remember it was in the mid or late 90’s when Hasbro lost their mind and started producing ecco-friendly Joes, to coincide with that tree hugger version of a cartoon that they tried to shove down the kid’s throats. They totally messed up a good thing, and it was at that time that I realized I was a little happy that my toy days were over.
Or so I thought…
Next: “It’s a collectible, dammit!!”
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Short Story
I no longer know what is wanted from me. I have no where else to go and no one to turn to. It’s almost exactly like he said everything would happen to me.
“You will be lost, utterly and totally, in every sense of the word”, he said. “It will be at that point, you will have to seek me out.”
How I hated him for being so prophetic… but he did have a point. I was basically a rudderless ship now, and I needed to do something to correct my situation. If I go to him, it will turn out that he was right, and I can not live in a world where he was right. That was unacceptable.
Oh, wait. There was another choice I could make. One that I chose, not him. One that will get me out my present predicament, even though the solution is of a more permanent variety. Did I really want to go to that extreme, though? Just to “stick it” to someone? Sure I hate him, with the white-hot intensity of 1,000 suns, oh how I hate him, but really; will that step truly be necessary?
I was in a quandary now. Before I felt that I only had one choice, now I actually have 2. This changes everything. I feel a new confidence, a veritable “can do” feeling, as it were. And the quandary was short lived, as I had now made my decision.
I saw the object of my hatred, and he too saw me. A look of smug satisfaction plastered on his face, he felt that he had me right where he wanted me, and if this had been moments earlier, he would have been correct. But I had a new choice now, and staring at him defiantly, I showed him how it was me that won this face off, not him.
“No need to order those socks for me, I’ll just go somewhere else.”
“You will be lost, utterly and totally, in every sense of the word”, he said. “It will be at that point, you will have to seek me out.”
How I hated him for being so prophetic… but he did have a point. I was basically a rudderless ship now, and I needed to do something to correct my situation. If I go to him, it will turn out that he was right, and I can not live in a world where he was right. That was unacceptable.
Oh, wait. There was another choice I could make. One that I chose, not him. One that will get me out my present predicament, even though the solution is of a more permanent variety. Did I really want to go to that extreme, though? Just to “stick it” to someone? Sure I hate him, with the white-hot intensity of 1,000 suns, oh how I hate him, but really; will that step truly be necessary?
I was in a quandary now. Before I felt that I only had one choice, now I actually have 2. This changes everything. I feel a new confidence, a veritable “can do” feeling, as it were. And the quandary was short lived, as I had now made my decision.
I saw the object of my hatred, and he too saw me. A look of smug satisfaction plastered on his face, he felt that he had me right where he wanted me, and if this had been moments earlier, he would have been correct. But I had a new choice now, and staring at him defiantly, I showed him how it was me that won this face off, not him.
“No need to order those socks for me, I’ll just go somewhere else.”
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